checked-in

in all honesty, i am totally 100% drained. these last four days have been nothing but work. except for this morning, i got to spend my early morning with my best friend, mo. we went to chromatic coffee to catch up as usual. i'm glad that we didn't end up going thrifting because that would have cost me my painting time for my 2d art project. when i went home after our coffee date, i went straight home and worked on it until night time. a total of ten hours passed. my two good friends, anne and peter, visited me and watched me paint in the backyard. anne brought her knitting supplies and peter just sat there for company. i love the new bench in the backyard and it's such a nice place to hangout outside. jennifer and my brother have surely done a great job creating it. my mom's been raging about her sprouts growing ever since i came back. i'm happy for everyone. wish i could be a part of the garden, but college calls.

i'm also glad that i brought only one outfit back this weekend because today was surely the only day that i planned to go out. i completed three more pomegranate drawings. that leaves me with only three more to go. i can make that happen. i spent the entire black friday reading and watching videos about the japanese garden from my school. and today, like i said, i worked on my 2d painting project. it was all worth it. i really scheduled my time wisely this break. i even managed to see my grandma twice and give her a goodbye hug. i love her so much.

gosh, i'm waking up in four hours. surely i have done quite a bit these last four days, but the sore eyes and the huge all-day headaches aren't worth it. however, tomorrow, i have something to look forward to when the plane lands! juan's taking me to seabirds in costa mesa for breakfast! a. vegan. breakfast. place. i seriously can't wait. i'm dreaming about cashew pancakes and maple syrup and whole wheat buns with coconut and avocado on top. give me an extra cup of special brewed coffee too. so tired and so excited at the same time. but after 12 pm, it's nothing but work again in the ceramics room. tomorrow, the holiday art sale begins though. so i cannot wait to keep an eye out for early holiday gifts.

peace,
jane

The Magnetic Fields- Nothing matters when we're dancing

can't stop listening to this song.


i want to know if i am right for you and if you are right for me and if we were meant for each other. i never stopped being myself.

work

time to do my art history research and paper. no shopping this black friday.

happy thanksgiving

 cinnamon-y pie!

tonight's dinner menu:

mother's homemade kale salad and black bean soup

jennifer's homemade vegan corn bread, tofurky stuffing, cranberry sauce, and mashed potaotes 

whole food's pumpkin pie

sourdough bread rolls

jennifer's family joined us for dinner tonight. my mom seemed to have made an amazing turkey with perfect stuffing. non-burnt. i'm thankful that everyone got a bite of their own. i'm especially thankful that my mom and jennifer went out of their way to prepare this vegan thanksgiving dinner for me. this morning, i was starting to think that it may have been a bad idea that i decided to come back when all i packed were drawing papers and library books anyway. but the pumpkin pie saved the day and erased my earlier thoughts. i had a reason to come back. i came back for family and pie, of course. 

thanksgiving day

i had a dream about being taken to egypt without knowing last night. i dreamt that there were public spiral showers sprinkling glistening water, a panini truck that was actually a house for seven cheerleaders on a mission, nude children playing soccer, and me and some other people from the ceramics studio there. george, this guy from the ceramics studio, said he took my old student id and scanned it online somewhere and finanical aid covered the $1800 departure fee for me and i guess i was so tired that i didn't even know i was flying across country. then that's how i got my instagram southwest airline pictures.

i checked. the instagram pictures are still there, but they're only from the start of my departure from lax. gosh, i guess being up for 20 hours just doesn't work for me anymore. being home, i just want to eat those homemade vegan pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that jennifer made and hug my new map bag that my mom got for me. i don't want to do any of my drawings, my paper, or painting. i just want to sleep on my comfortable bed under all those cozy thick blankets and stare out the window even though it's sunny as hell. i'd just put the blinds down. coming back for break each time just means work. it's so stressful and painful to be honest. the right thing to do sometimes is just exhausting.

let me go.

at last.

i am home. so far, i came home, unrolled my papers, and observed what changed and remained in my house. i drank two cups of tea: white spice and toasted rice. everytime i come home, i forget about how cool the wooden floors make the house feel. i have been reintroduced to the carpet world ever since i moved away to college. i mean, it's always easy to ignore the lint and dust on the carpet when it's usually camouflage. however, i don't ignore the lint and dust because we have a nice blue vacuum cleaner for a reason. but back to my wooden floors, it's automatically noticeable when there is a piece of hair floating in an s-curve. after i see my grandma later today, that's it. i am going in full work mode. it's so hard to go out and not worry about all the drawings i have to complete, not to mention that big art history paper i have to do as well. i'm kind of sad that every break has to be this way. but i'm trying to do the right thing. surely it is going to kill my peace and sanity.

wishing thanksgiving break could be two weeks, so i could at least blow off one full day,

jane

My flight is in exactly 12 hrs. Almost done with ceramics work. Almost.

free coffee

i stood in line today for 15 minutes only to realize that i forgot or lost my debit card at home or elsewhere when i got to the register. so i stood aside, panicked a little, and then went to a single table nearby to dump everything out of my backpack. then i realized. i let juan borrow it for laundry last night and forgot to put it back in my wallet. then i finally went to the counter (after hearing "jane-soy latte" called impatiently several times), and said, "i'm just not going to take it. i lost my card. or i think i lost my card. i don't have my card. yeah. okay. sorry."  and then the barista just looked at me blankly and said, "take it. it's already made." she kind of had an ominous glare going. surprised, i took it and didn't look back. so there i had it. my free coffee today.

but then the rest of the morning was pretty discouraging. it was our last session with drawing richard today and i couldn't even get the light and shade portions of his rib correct. or any of his body for that matter. it's discouraging because all my classmates around me, even those who have been at the same pace as me all semester,  had successfully rendered richard's body in a very naturalistic, believable way, like the way it should have been done. i have one last try the monday we come back from break. and i will try my best. i have to. the underdog doesn't give up, but the underdog doesn't always rise.

i glazed four cups today. 1 more to go, and 3 more pitchers to go. it pays off working on the weekend and weekdays, or everyday i should say.

now i'm going to sip my tazo chai tea and eat my iced oatmeal cookies in peace until eight more minutes pass by. then i'm going to start transferring my tracing paper composition of the kimono patterns to bristol board.

hooray. monday is almost over. that means i get to check in around 5:00 am tomorrow for my flight home.

i'm going to make all of this work.

-jane

i really want to try making this someday. i also want the same glaze.

thumb hole mug

i spent a couple hours in the glaze studio this afternoon. i am exhausted. each cup has about five-six glazes. i just really want to experiment on the massive batch of mugs i made. i have five more cups and three more pitchers to glaze. i'm going to glaze three mugs tomorrow, and perhaps the last two mugs on tuesday afternoon. i'm going to leave the last three pitchers for the sunday i come back from thanksgiving break. i still have to make three more pots with lids. 

tonight, me and juan are going out to thai gourmet again. i feel like we've gone at least five times this month. juan's really starting to love thai food. it's about time. i'm starving. no matter how busy you are, don't forget to eat.

i am 90% done with my charcoal pomegranate drawing. after dinner, i may start the graphite version.

i realized that i didn't even start my 2d kimono painting composition. sigh, another studio project to bring home to do for thanksgiving.  

sunday afternoon inspiration

aqua turquoise blue cup

ping zhu

sculpture

art dolls

just finished watching daydream nation on netflix. god, the movie is dark and twisted. i kind of hid my eyes under the blanket several times. i'm going to download the soundtrack now. it officially hurts closing my eyes due to the brightness of the computer screen. it's my own doing. saturday night, sunday morning. being reckless safely.

Herb chickenless-o burger

Last night, after trying the new pizza place called Toppings across the street, we ended up ordering another large pizza from Papa John's two hours afterward. We're just always in for pizza. Darjeeling Limited was one of those quiet Wes Anderson films. I really enjoyed it- especially since it had India aspects in it.

This morning, me and Juan caught up with the latest episode of the Carrie Diaries and made vegan french toast with yesterday's leftover banana batter. We went to Zephyr's for lunch and I got a delicious chicken seitan and sprouts burger with onion soup-of-the-day on the side. Zephyr's will always be my favorite vegan place in Long Beach. I've been a loyal fan to it since I moved to Long Beach. I always crave for their crunchy crusted sugary apple pie. Lately, they've added blueberry pie to their dessert list, but still; nothing beats their slice of apple pie.

Right now, I'm on the bus back from Zephyr's with Juan, and we're headed back to school so I could take my bisque-fired mugs and pitchers home to wax. Then I'm going to start my third pomegranate drawing in charcoal. I have to start planning what and how I'm going to pack for my Wednesday early morning flight soon. I finally bought my orange ice tube ( art paper transportation) to bring on the plane. Stoked that my papers won't get ruined this time around. Plane smart.

I've got plenty to do before Tuesday, our last day before Thanksgiving break begins, to finish assignments and tasks here and there for all my classes.

Can I check out already?

-Jane

currently watching

Girls Season 3: Trailer (HBO)

HELL YEAH.

waited long enough.

it's raining. i love rain. take me back to seattle. i knew i belonged there the first time i set foot there.

morning cartoons

i forgot how much i loved kim possible. how i used to play those disney games day and night until i beat them. they were all mainly kim possible games. she was my idol.

currently eating my leftover vegan lasagna.

i had three red bulls this week. four if counting tomorrow.

life at home

trial and error

i'm certain that it would take me about three terms to finally get the basics on how to render the human form carefully with light and shade. while the rest of the class is finishing the second class session of the same model pose, the underdog is just beginning.

well, at least i did one thing right today.

i registered for classes and got the main ones i need.

i'm on my two hour break before art history, and this may be the only time to really take a breather, close my eyes, and be in deep meditation. last night, i spent a lot of time doing recreational watercolor painting. as nice as it was, i found myself constantly wondering if i was painting or drawing something right, if an angle should have been placed elsewhere, and if i were to share it with a class, what could be improved.

what's proven to me, is that the artist life will always be with and in me. there is no randomness in art. even the word random is a technique to be applied a certain way if you really think about it. however, there is the difference between random and experimental art. either way, i guess it's about being receptive to what is open. art is so many, too many things.

break time.

when i come home from school, i like to eat my baby carrots with my eggplant hummus with pita sea salt chips on the side.

tonight, me and juan made hot dogs. vegan and non-vegan weenies with grilled onions in the hot dog bun, broccoli, and homemade french fries on the side.

i'm just painting with watercolor tonight. for myself. i need to take a breather from the hectic academic-related art scene for just a moment. i feel like a moody teenager complaining about how no one gets how hard it is. i'm only human.

minoring in anthropology

i just might be able to do it. i mean, i've been wanting to do it for a year and a half. (when i realized i was going to put off journalism for now, was uncertain about communications, and was certain about being an art teacher). apparently i've been a quarter way through.

i finished my second pomegranate drawing this afternoon. now i have to make eraser stamps and sketch a composition related to the japanese garden for my 2d class. i figured out my classes. i'm ready to enroll for spring 2014 wednesday morning.

edit: i just spent another three hours looking, writing down, planning classes. i haven't actually started homework. was going to go out for my soy latte and moleskin write, but can't. gotta eat cocoa puffs first to function.

kairos festival in costa mesa

last night in costa mesa included a free art show, urban outfitters photobooth pictures, live music, vegan donuts, vegan quesadillas, and vegan tostadas. for dinner, we went to taco cancun, and that was where all the daiya cheese appeared. barely a year old, the place felt so homey and intimate, that it was hard to believe that they were so careful about cooking vegan food next to the other meats. they emphasized on making sour cream with daiya cheese and other ingredients as well. my tostada was delicious.

i was disappointed that the vegan baker from the gypsy den cafe (from the lab) went on vacation. that just meant no vegan chai chocolate cake, coconut, or carrot cake. nothing but an empty dark display with no glowing baked goods for sale. but at the donuttery, i did get my variety of pumpkin, chocolate, and lemon donuts before leaving costa mesa. i had a good time with my buddies adam and christian, not to mention juan, who drove.

the zip car (rental car) is definitely something to look into as a means of transportation if you reside in a place where you have to get around by feet, bus, or by train. the prices vary, so it's usually about $8.50/hour on average with gas provided. all you do is swipe the card over the top left side of the windshield and the doors unlock for you-with the keys already inside. our material life in society is getting more high class with automation and futuristic possibilities. the things we sketch and design in our minds somehow always get transferred to those bright computer screens of ours. soon the tech-savviness of physics and all that jazz leave us an abundant surplus of high-teach supplies in this ongoing era. progression; it's not uncommon at all. having a car is admittedly so much more convenient than having to catch the last train home before the station closes and it's always so much better to not combine three or four hours worth of transportation round trip before actually counting the actual event of the day. it's good to not worry about public transportation for once. yesterday was a good time. i purchased two prints from wylie and they are so amazing. i can't get enough of them. i set them as background for my lock and home screen on my iphone.

today, so far, i just finished 1/10 of my pomegranate drawings. i'm going to maybe attempt a charcoal or graphite drawing later today. after the gym, after an episode of carrie diaries, and after i digest from my late veggie burrito lunch.

saturday morning and thoughts

Drawing a pomegranate is harder than I thought. I mean, all the seeds, skin, and outer surfaces of the light and shade, etc. But yesterday I went out and bought a bunch of matching pomegranate color-related prismacolor pencils and chalk pastel pencils. I did get the ingres paper I was talking about. I shouldn't give up. This is only the beginning. I am taking the WPE test today and I am kind of worried now that I look at all the sample topics on the school website. The list is as long as the Great Wall of China. So I need to remember facts about slavery, cloning, single parent relationships, technology, etc. The norm of often given topics. Being pressured to write under a certain amount of time could get the worst out of my anxiety. Sometimes. But the good thing to look forward to after, is continuing my pomegranate drawing and then heading to Costa Mesa to go to the art show and get my vegan chai chocolate cake at The Lab. Gonna meet up with my bff, John! Thank God he went home for the weekend.

-Jane

pomegranate exploration

i'm going to attempt 1/10 of my object drawing exploration project today.. i think i'm going to choose to draw a pomegranate. just thinking about gathering and using different mediums make me giddy. i'm not sure how far i'll get with this attempt today or this weekend, but right now i just want to get ingres paper and chalk pastel pencils. so i found out that ingres paper is environmental-friendly and that makes me very satisfied. however, i have long come to a conclusion that it's just plain dfficult to be vegan-friendly with every single art supply i pick up or am required to use. personally, i am just trying my best everyday to be as healthy and ethical in every way that i can. but nothing's perfect and this world could not possibly be comprised of 100% of anything. there are specks and flaws in every single thing, whether we agree or not. that's just my personal thought though. so yeah, i'm going to use my watercolor paper or pastels even if there may be chances that they're not entirely vegan. i can only avoid so much, ya know.

Zee Avi-Concrete Wall (FrND Remix) by FrND

Zee Avi-Concrete Wall (FrND Remix) by FrND

So good.
Spread the sounds. Keep sharing.

currently listening to allman brown & liz lawrence-sons and daughters

learning about an artist named rosie walters from scotland.

prepping for my 2d presentation.

the bowls i just completed.

drowsy and sick

it's been the oh i don't know, fifth day since i've been sick. i've been taking lots of nyquil. just feeling drowsy still. i didn't know that it was daylights saving time? thanks to technology, i must admit, i found out this morning when it said 9:00 am on my ikea clock and 8:00 am on my cellphone. i love it when we get an extra hour. the day has been moving not too slowly. juan brought me a bowl of reese's puffs and he poured himself a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and we watched some aziz ansari on netflix before i fell asleep again. we did laundry, made lunch, fries, and vacuumed the carpet in my room. all clean. all better. now it's time for me to rest a bit longer and then get up to redo my value scale and paint my self portrait for my 2d class. i should post up pictures. but i've been quite lazy.

i should go to ceramics today at least for two hours. we will see.

-jane

after spending six hours in the ceramics studio, i made a total of five cups and one pitcher. so now i have to pull a couple more handles for the additional cups i made and throw two more five pound pitchers. i think i will be okay. the required number of cups we are supposed to make is eight, i believe. the underdog will rise.

i just went grocery shopping at von's. i wish i had time to go to trader joe's to grocery shop. then, i could get my soy yogurt for the week. but it's okay. i bought baked lays instead...

i should paint tonight for my 2d self-portrait project, but i am so god damn tired.

i just want to watch netflix and random youtube videos and eat soy mint chocolate chip ice cream with my boyfriend.

50/50

hi. i woke up feeling sicker this morning. you know, the runny nose, the watery eyes, the sore body, etc. but this morning i was lucky. my boyfriend stayed in bed with me and took care of me. he even got me a whole new box of reese's puffs (which by the way, are vegan.) so i got to eat my peanut buttery sweet cereal in bed. we watched half of 50/50 until we decided to set the laptop aside and take another long nap. then it was 5 pm before i knew it. we ordered papa john's and went half cheese and half no cheese (half no cheese for me), and then we got ready to go to school. tonight, the annual campus movie fest was held in the student union. i'm so glad that i got to attend tonight. it's hard making short films-especially if you're given only one week to make it. it was really entertaining overall.

now we're home again and i just ate another bowl of reese's puffs. i also made some hot green tea and that's set on my side target tv table. we're going to finish 50/50. i can't believe that 50/50 was the first movie that i watched in long beach with my friend john. it was ever so good then and ever so good now. i am a jgl fan, indeed. no lie about that.

-jane