i think the last time it really felt like christmas was when i was in elementary school. those were times when i was actually excited to get up early to open gifts with my brother. the memories of us guessing what was hidden underneath the nicely wrapped christmas paper nights before the actual christmas day was really joyful. those were the christmas years that belonged to us and us only. christmas never actually got better after that. but what always happens, happens. life goes on. it's not all that depressing. i'm going hiking tomorrow.

this girl got a 4.0 this semester. it all came through.

finally back home with no work to do right away. just me, coffee dates, and late christmas shopping. going to spend time reflecting my people relationships.

done.

again sitting with my hot vanilla cinnamon black tea and two cinnamon oatmeal cookies by my side table. but this time, i'm going to enjoy them like i should because finals are over! i celebrated by eating salsa and chips, getting ingredients for spaghetti, and watching miyazaki's film: ponyo. ponyo is too cute.

vanilla cinnamon black tea from trader joe's.

studying.

currentnly listening to: the daylight by andrew belle
on replay

Voxtrot - The Start of Something

too much to talk about

so much has happened the last few days. words can describe the feelings and happenings, but not now. right now, i'm eating my oatmeal sugar cookies and drinking my toasted rice tea. can't believe thanksgiving was barely a week and a half ago or so. i worked to the core of what's left for each class. now, one more to go. art history. tomorrow. time to study.

edit: contacts not working today. thank goodness it's just sunday. heh. i have the urge to pick up three extra black chalk pastel pencils at lyon's. useful.

currently listening to voxtrot.

Oh hell yeah. I got up at 6:15 am and got ready so quickly. Made my PB sandwich like within five minutes and got to the bus stop. I just got starbucks and got a soy latte and an extra almond cocoa bar.  Was 45 mins early for my 8:00 final but now like 28. No one is here yet still. Hah, the biggest twist would be that it's a. Not happening today or b. it's in a totally different room that I never knew about.
But last night,  I took ten hours to do my life size self portrait. I fell asleep to studying the written portion. Life drawing- be done already !!!!!!

progress

i've been working on the history paper for about nine hours now. today, i finally added footnotes. i used about five library textbooks, five online articles, two online pictures, three blog references, an ebook reference, and.... just too many references. i am so exhausted. i have yet to officially proofread. but i think i will try to attempt that now. i stepped away for about fifteen minutes because the pizza came. i don't know how many times me and juan ordered papa john's pizza this semester. i always get the pineapple and black olive toppings and add my own sides of spinach and vegan meat. beats cooking. well, for tonight. i ran out of basmati rice and quinoa. now i'm out of spinach and onions. i'm restocked with falafels and chicken-less strips though. yippee. two more drawings to go for life drawing as said many times. i shall start officially around 8:30 or so. i have to pull through. i must. this paper was one of the bigger things that blocked my walls in continuing my art projects. but simultaneously, i think i got really into it. me and papers have a tendency to meet halfway at some point each time. but personally, i know it takes me longer than the average writer to get pass the writer's block.

-jane

cold like it should be.

gosh, it's freezing out and i love it. it's really cold in my room. i just need to snuggle under the blankets and try finishing the rough draft of my history paper. yesterday night at 9 pm, the spark finally arrived and picked things up. juan watched the way, way back as i was starting to fall asleep. that meant he slept around 4 am. no bueno. he must have really liked the movie, then. he is a fan of steve carell. i'm assuming that i won't be done with my paper until past dinner time, with or without footnotes added yet.. either way, the paper is to be turned in digitally tonight before 11:59 pm and tomorrow in person with a hard copy by 2:00 pm. i still have to figure out what i'm going to do with my last two pomegranate drawings that are due tomorrow. one step at a time.

my hands are freezing cold. luckily i just made a cup of hot green tea to pour into my thermus. our new cat, castiel, is running around the house right now. the bell is ringing as it runs.

9 more days to go. 10 including today, though.

-jane

work

i've been at it for about pretty much all morning and afternoon and all day for this art history research paper. starbucks helped a little. i finally got somewhat of a legitimate outline there before leaving. tonight, me and juan rented the zipcar for an hour just to go to target, trader joes, and mvp's for groceries and dinner. i picked up a thai panang curry and rice microwavable meal from trader joes along with some multi-grain pita chips, persimmons, kiwi fruits, and grapefruit juice. at target, we got mouthwash for us and one of those small three layer plastic draws for about $11 for juan-to hold his undershirts and what not. i think it was time that we took his stuff out of that big plastic bin of mine that we call his litter box. it's not fair that he has to pile up everything and not have better organizers. since we had the car tonight, it saved us a trip to walking back in the cold and dark. we got into an argument tonight about him not listening to me when i was rambling on about something. it was a small little thing, but it turned into something rather large. both parties ended up apologizing as usual. relationships confuse me sometimes. it makes me wonder why i keep wondering, if not the same, then other certain things; simultaneously, it keeps me feeling like i'm doing just fine. i've always had trouble balancing things out in my life, let alone my relationships. this is nothing new. 10 more days to go until we're all free from the fall semester. winter session starts for me real soon, however. really trying to stay strong and positive.

you know, i just want to use my map messenger bag to go out. i want to thrift new sweaters for the now chillier weather and find cute vintage-colored furniture for my room. i want to invest in an extra $20 desk at ikea to put next to my current one for juan to study. so he doesn't have to lay his stuff out on the bed or couch or dining table.

-jane

It's raining outside and I love it. I love that I don't have to go to school for once. I love that I have plans to go downstairs to starbucks to get a warm cup of coffee. I love that I get to stay in bed to write my paper because it doesn't require other art materials spread out on the table. Just me, the laptop, and books. I must get a lot done today. Yesterday night, I eventually fell asleep from the entire day's worth of research. It was research day #2. I have an urge to buy some zines from Fingerprints once all finals and papers are over. It shall be my treat. Happy rainy day.

Jane

I think I just truly have a love for ceramics. Time after time, I find myself coming back into the studio regardless of checking or working on something that I have to turn in or not. This morning, I came in to put the three little bowls in the hot box because I am planning to trim them and put them on the cart before they get bisque fired. I'm thinking these bowls would perhaps make good holiday gifts. Today, however I have to go hoard any last Japanese garden related books left in the library and really start writing my term paper that's due Monday... I also have to finally pick a song for my 2d final protect. The objective is to compose an art piece that responds to the selected 30 second segment of any song. It sounds like a piece of cake, but nothing really is. I see this as a very intuitive assignment that may require almost more thinking and planning than doing. I am going to have to try to find balance between how much of my music history from the past can join hands with the skills I learned these past few months in the class. Despite my personal opinions about this 2d professor, I have to remember that this is for me and not for her. As I know, she'll just grade with a biased view for yet another project to come.

12 more days to go. One more life size portrait to do, one more term paper to write, one more AH final to study for, one more written test to do for life drawing class, two more pomegranates to draw, and this last 2d composition art project to work on. I can do it...


I've come so far this semester. I think this is a reward for me personally- that I performed and gave every course my best this semester. Sure, they were all to be graded, but none of that mattered in time.

I have good news for this summer.

Jane

edit:

i have washed 15+ bats that were left in the ceramics cupboard, threw away all plastic wrappers, returned clay that people let me borrow, checked the hot box about 10 times, put all things on the shelf, checked out my library books, washed all dishes from last night, made extras basmati rice for juan when he comes home from his geology field trip, made two cups of tea since, watched a couple episodes of youtuber's channels, did my bed, and settled back into my room for the workday to begin. i i realized i slept with my contacts on last night. bummer, my eyes are feeling so dry today. but i don't want to take them off because glasses make me feel uncomfortable when i am trying to focus on something serious. they're only good for when i want to lay in bed and cuddle and watch netflix.

the carrie diaries comes back tonight. too bad this girl has no cable. can't wait. juan's bringing oreos and raspberries home. i'm trying hard not to eat out. i'm saving for a big time thing.

finished my five pots with lids today, made two extra apothecary jars, two small bowls, and... that's it. ate a persimmon, given by sam. today's vibe wasn't too shabby. but the morning was just depressing as hell. life drawing caused so much discouragement. well, as it does every monday and wednesday morning from 9 am 12 pm. surely i enjoy it, but i know it will take me at least three terms to get it right. i had just dipped my feet in the water for gestures. i'm not even on the road to light and shade yet. i know everyone works at their own pace.

now i have to study for my ceramic and color quiz. i can do this.

i may have big news. i can't contain my excitement. but i have to see what my mom says.

work

one more jar and lid to go, two more knobs to make, one more pitcher and one more cup to glaze.

then... i'll be done with the ceramics final. not including the lectures notes that i have written in a bunch of different journals that i still have to transfer to to one journal,  and the bisque and glaze firing test to study for....

just made my homemade early grey soy latte. haven't fixed myself a sweet warm drink in awhile. i was so close to walking downstairs to get to starbucks for coffee. so close.

i should be finishing my painting project for 2d. i am so exhausted. my arms are about to fall off. the lack of sleep and constant workload i have put upon myself these last four days have created a huge destruction in ceramics tonight. the lack of energy in my entire body automatically puts me in a cranky, moody teenager vibe again.

i also found out that i may only be able to take one of the two classes this winter session at community college. apparently i didn't click the description infos to see that there were extra five hour long labs for each. that's why the computer said the two classes "conflict" each other. that's okay. the positive way to see it is that i should be happy to get any class at all if i get in by registration time tomorrow. plus, i'm going to want to make sf trips on weekends. so it might be better if i just focus on one class. i haven't explored norcal in so long. the only place i ever really want to frequent often in socal so far, is costa mesa. ever since john introduced his hometown to me. the plethora of vegan food trucks, restaurants, and goodies just make me feel so overwhelmed. the good kind of overwhelm.

this morning's breakfast at seabirds kitchen was so good. juan got morning toasties, which were these mini wheat buns with avacado spread, coconut bacon, and lemon pepper on top with a side of fruit. i got the organic waffles with vegan butter, maple syrup, and sliced berries on top. heavenly delicious. good for a sweet toother like me. i couldn't remember the last time i had actual waffles for breakfast since i turned vegan. i don't think i ever did. this morning was quite delightful. it minded me of what waffles tasted like.

also, i'm wearing the new fox slippers that mo got me. i can't stop starring at them. they're so cute, warm, and fuzzy. i am actually feeling the chills under my thick green cardigan as the wind is blowing through the cracks of my almost-shut windows. my windows won't shut completely.
-jane