i think the last time it really felt like christmas was when i was in elementary school. those were times when i was actually excited to get up early to open gifts with my brother. the memories of us guessing what was hidden underneath the nicely wrapped christmas paper nights before the actual christmas day was really joyful. those were the christmas years that belonged to us and us only. christmas never actually got better after that. but what always happens, happens. life goes on. it's not all that depressing. i'm going hiking tomorrow.

this girl got a 4.0 this semester. it all came through.

finally back home with no work to do right away. just me, coffee dates, and late christmas shopping. going to spend time reflecting my people relationships.

done.

again sitting with my hot vanilla cinnamon black tea and two cinnamon oatmeal cookies by my side table. but this time, i'm going to enjoy them like i should because finals are over! i celebrated by eating salsa and chips, getting ingredients for spaghetti, and watching miyazaki's film: ponyo. ponyo is too cute.

vanilla cinnamon black tea from trader joe's.

studying.

currentnly listening to: the daylight by andrew belle
on replay

Voxtrot - The Start of Something

too much to talk about

so much has happened the last few days. words can describe the feelings and happenings, but not now. right now, i'm eating my oatmeal sugar cookies and drinking my toasted rice tea. can't believe thanksgiving was barely a week and a half ago or so. i worked to the core of what's left for each class. now, one more to go. art history. tomorrow. time to study.

edit: contacts not working today. thank goodness it's just sunday. heh. i have the urge to pick up three extra black chalk pastel pencils at lyon's. useful.

currently listening to voxtrot.

Oh hell yeah. I got up at 6:15 am and got ready so quickly. Made my PB sandwich like within five minutes and got to the bus stop. I just got starbucks and got a soy latte and an extra almond cocoa bar.  Was 45 mins early for my 8:00 final but now like 28. No one is here yet still. Hah, the biggest twist would be that it's a. Not happening today or b. it's in a totally different room that I never knew about.
But last night,  I took ten hours to do my life size self portrait. I fell asleep to studying the written portion. Life drawing- be done already !!!!!!

progress

i've been working on the history paper for about nine hours now. today, i finally added footnotes. i used about five library textbooks, five online articles, two online pictures, three blog references, an ebook reference, and.... just too many references. i am so exhausted. i have yet to officially proofread. but i think i will try to attempt that now. i stepped away for about fifteen minutes because the pizza came. i don't know how many times me and juan ordered papa john's pizza this semester. i always get the pineapple and black olive toppings and add my own sides of spinach and vegan meat. beats cooking. well, for tonight. i ran out of basmati rice and quinoa. now i'm out of spinach and onions. i'm restocked with falafels and chicken-less strips though. yippee. two more drawings to go for life drawing as said many times. i shall start officially around 8:30 or so. i have to pull through. i must. this paper was one of the bigger things that blocked my walls in continuing my art projects. but simultaneously, i think i got really into it. me and papers have a tendency to meet halfway at some point each time. but personally, i know it takes me longer than the average writer to get pass the writer's block.

-jane

cold like it should be.

gosh, it's freezing out and i love it. it's really cold in my room. i just need to snuggle under the blankets and try finishing the rough draft of my history paper. yesterday night at 9 pm, the spark finally arrived and picked things up. juan watched the way, way back as i was starting to fall asleep. that meant he slept around 4 am. no bueno. he must have really liked the movie, then. he is a fan of steve carell. i'm assuming that i won't be done with my paper until past dinner time, with or without footnotes added yet.. either way, the paper is to be turned in digitally tonight before 11:59 pm and tomorrow in person with a hard copy by 2:00 pm. i still have to figure out what i'm going to do with my last two pomegranate drawings that are due tomorrow. one step at a time.

my hands are freezing cold. luckily i just made a cup of hot green tea to pour into my thermus. our new cat, castiel, is running around the house right now. the bell is ringing as it runs.

9 more days to go. 10 including today, though.

-jane

work

i've been at it for about pretty much all morning and afternoon and all day for this art history research paper. starbucks helped a little. i finally got somewhat of a legitimate outline there before leaving. tonight, me and juan rented the zipcar for an hour just to go to target, trader joes, and mvp's for groceries and dinner. i picked up a thai panang curry and rice microwavable meal from trader joes along with some multi-grain pita chips, persimmons, kiwi fruits, and grapefruit juice. at target, we got mouthwash for us and one of those small three layer plastic draws for about $11 for juan-to hold his undershirts and what not. i think it was time that we took his stuff out of that big plastic bin of mine that we call his litter box. it's not fair that he has to pile up everything and not have better organizers. since we had the car tonight, it saved us a trip to walking back in the cold and dark. we got into an argument tonight about him not listening to me when i was rambling on about something. it was a small little thing, but it turned into something rather large. both parties ended up apologizing as usual. relationships confuse me sometimes. it makes me wonder why i keep wondering, if not the same, then other certain things; simultaneously, it keeps me feeling like i'm doing just fine. i've always had trouble balancing things out in my life, let alone my relationships. this is nothing new. 10 more days to go until we're all free from the fall semester. winter session starts for me real soon, however. really trying to stay strong and positive.

you know, i just want to use my map messenger bag to go out. i want to thrift new sweaters for the now chillier weather and find cute vintage-colored furniture for my room. i want to invest in an extra $20 desk at ikea to put next to my current one for juan to study. so he doesn't have to lay his stuff out on the bed or couch or dining table.

-jane

It's raining outside and I love it. I love that I don't have to go to school for once. I love that I have plans to go downstairs to starbucks to get a warm cup of coffee. I love that I get to stay in bed to write my paper because it doesn't require other art materials spread out on the table. Just me, the laptop, and books. I must get a lot done today. Yesterday night, I eventually fell asleep from the entire day's worth of research. It was research day #2. I have an urge to buy some zines from Fingerprints once all finals and papers are over. It shall be my treat. Happy rainy day.

Jane

I think I just truly have a love for ceramics. Time after time, I find myself coming back into the studio regardless of checking or working on something that I have to turn in or not. This morning, I came in to put the three little bowls in the hot box because I am planning to trim them and put them on the cart before they get bisque fired. I'm thinking these bowls would perhaps make good holiday gifts. Today, however I have to go hoard any last Japanese garden related books left in the library and really start writing my term paper that's due Monday... I also have to finally pick a song for my 2d final protect. The objective is to compose an art piece that responds to the selected 30 second segment of any song. It sounds like a piece of cake, but nothing really is. I see this as a very intuitive assignment that may require almost more thinking and planning than doing. I am going to have to try to find balance between how much of my music history from the past can join hands with the skills I learned these past few months in the class. Despite my personal opinions about this 2d professor, I have to remember that this is for me and not for her. As I know, she'll just grade with a biased view for yet another project to come.

12 more days to go. One more life size portrait to do, one more term paper to write, one more AH final to study for, one more written test to do for life drawing class, two more pomegranates to draw, and this last 2d composition art project to work on. I can do it...


I've come so far this semester. I think this is a reward for me personally- that I performed and gave every course my best this semester. Sure, they were all to be graded, but none of that mattered in time.

I have good news for this summer.

Jane

edit:

i have washed 15+ bats that were left in the ceramics cupboard, threw away all plastic wrappers, returned clay that people let me borrow, checked the hot box about 10 times, put all things on the shelf, checked out my library books, washed all dishes from last night, made extras basmati rice for juan when he comes home from his geology field trip, made two cups of tea since, watched a couple episodes of youtuber's channels, did my bed, and settled back into my room for the workday to begin. i i realized i slept with my contacts on last night. bummer, my eyes are feeling so dry today. but i don't want to take them off because glasses make me feel uncomfortable when i am trying to focus on something serious. they're only good for when i want to lay in bed and cuddle and watch netflix.

the carrie diaries comes back tonight. too bad this girl has no cable. can't wait. juan's bringing oreos and raspberries home. i'm trying hard not to eat out. i'm saving for a big time thing.

finished my five pots with lids today, made two extra apothecary jars, two small bowls, and... that's it. ate a persimmon, given by sam. today's vibe wasn't too shabby. but the morning was just depressing as hell. life drawing caused so much discouragement. well, as it does every monday and wednesday morning from 9 am 12 pm. surely i enjoy it, but i know it will take me at least three terms to get it right. i had just dipped my feet in the water for gestures. i'm not even on the road to light and shade yet. i know everyone works at their own pace.

now i have to study for my ceramic and color quiz. i can do this.

i may have big news. i can't contain my excitement. but i have to see what my mom says.

work

one more jar and lid to go, two more knobs to make, one more pitcher and one more cup to glaze.

then... i'll be done with the ceramics final. not including the lectures notes that i have written in a bunch of different journals that i still have to transfer to to one journal,  and the bisque and glaze firing test to study for....

just made my homemade early grey soy latte. haven't fixed myself a sweet warm drink in awhile. i was so close to walking downstairs to get to starbucks for coffee. so close.

i should be finishing my painting project for 2d. i am so exhausted. my arms are about to fall off. the lack of sleep and constant workload i have put upon myself these last four days have created a huge destruction in ceramics tonight. the lack of energy in my entire body automatically puts me in a cranky, moody teenager vibe again.

i also found out that i may only be able to take one of the two classes this winter session at community college. apparently i didn't click the description infos to see that there were extra five hour long labs for each. that's why the computer said the two classes "conflict" each other. that's okay. the positive way to see it is that i should be happy to get any class at all if i get in by registration time tomorrow. plus, i'm going to want to make sf trips on weekends. so it might be better if i just focus on one class. i haven't explored norcal in so long. the only place i ever really want to frequent often in socal so far, is costa mesa. ever since john introduced his hometown to me. the plethora of vegan food trucks, restaurants, and goodies just make me feel so overwhelmed. the good kind of overwhelm.

this morning's breakfast at seabirds kitchen was so good. juan got morning toasties, which were these mini wheat buns with avacado spread, coconut bacon, and lemon pepper on top with a side of fruit. i got the organic waffles with vegan butter, maple syrup, and sliced berries on top. heavenly delicious. good for a sweet toother like me. i couldn't remember the last time i had actual waffles for breakfast since i turned vegan. i don't think i ever did. this morning was quite delightful. it minded me of what waffles tasted like.

also, i'm wearing the new fox slippers that mo got me. i can't stop starring at them. they're so cute, warm, and fuzzy. i am actually feeling the chills under my thick green cardigan as the wind is blowing through the cracks of my almost-shut windows. my windows won't shut completely.
-jane

checked-in

in all honesty, i am totally 100% drained. these last four days have been nothing but work. except for this morning, i got to spend my early morning with my best friend, mo. we went to chromatic coffee to catch up as usual. i'm glad that we didn't end up going thrifting because that would have cost me my painting time for my 2d art project. when i went home after our coffee date, i went straight home and worked on it until night time. a total of ten hours passed. my two good friends, anne and peter, visited me and watched me paint in the backyard. anne brought her knitting supplies and peter just sat there for company. i love the new bench in the backyard and it's such a nice place to hangout outside. jennifer and my brother have surely done a great job creating it. my mom's been raging about her sprouts growing ever since i came back. i'm happy for everyone. wish i could be a part of the garden, but college calls.

i'm also glad that i brought only one outfit back this weekend because today was surely the only day that i planned to go out. i completed three more pomegranate drawings. that leaves me with only three more to go. i can make that happen. i spent the entire black friday reading and watching videos about the japanese garden from my school. and today, like i said, i worked on my 2d painting project. it was all worth it. i really scheduled my time wisely this break. i even managed to see my grandma twice and give her a goodbye hug. i love her so much.

gosh, i'm waking up in four hours. surely i have done quite a bit these last four days, but the sore eyes and the huge all-day headaches aren't worth it. however, tomorrow, i have something to look forward to when the plane lands! juan's taking me to seabirds in costa mesa for breakfast! a. vegan. breakfast. place. i seriously can't wait. i'm dreaming about cashew pancakes and maple syrup and whole wheat buns with coconut and avocado on top. give me an extra cup of special brewed coffee too. so tired and so excited at the same time. but after 12 pm, it's nothing but work again in the ceramics room. tomorrow, the holiday art sale begins though. so i cannot wait to keep an eye out for early holiday gifts.

peace,
jane

The Magnetic Fields- Nothing matters when we're dancing

can't stop listening to this song.


i want to know if i am right for you and if you are right for me and if we were meant for each other. i never stopped being myself.

work

time to do my art history research and paper. no shopping this black friday.

happy thanksgiving

 cinnamon-y pie!

tonight's dinner menu:

mother's homemade kale salad and black bean soup

jennifer's homemade vegan corn bread, tofurky stuffing, cranberry sauce, and mashed potaotes 

whole food's pumpkin pie

sourdough bread rolls

jennifer's family joined us for dinner tonight. my mom seemed to have made an amazing turkey with perfect stuffing. non-burnt. i'm thankful that everyone got a bite of their own. i'm especially thankful that my mom and jennifer went out of their way to prepare this vegan thanksgiving dinner for me. this morning, i was starting to think that it may have been a bad idea that i decided to come back when all i packed were drawing papers and library books anyway. but the pumpkin pie saved the day and erased my earlier thoughts. i had a reason to come back. i came back for family and pie, of course. 

thanksgiving day

i had a dream about being taken to egypt without knowing last night. i dreamt that there were public spiral showers sprinkling glistening water, a panini truck that was actually a house for seven cheerleaders on a mission, nude children playing soccer, and me and some other people from the ceramics studio there. george, this guy from the ceramics studio, said he took my old student id and scanned it online somewhere and finanical aid covered the $1800 departure fee for me and i guess i was so tired that i didn't even know i was flying across country. then that's how i got my instagram southwest airline pictures.

i checked. the instagram pictures are still there, but they're only from the start of my departure from lax. gosh, i guess being up for 20 hours just doesn't work for me anymore. being home, i just want to eat those homemade vegan pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that jennifer made and hug my new map bag that my mom got for me. i don't want to do any of my drawings, my paper, or painting. i just want to sleep on my comfortable bed under all those cozy thick blankets and stare out the window even though it's sunny as hell. i'd just put the blinds down. coming back for break each time just means work. it's so stressful and painful to be honest. the right thing to do sometimes is just exhausting.

let me go.

at last.

i am home. so far, i came home, unrolled my papers, and observed what changed and remained in my house. i drank two cups of tea: white spice and toasted rice. everytime i come home, i forget about how cool the wooden floors make the house feel. i have been reintroduced to the carpet world ever since i moved away to college. i mean, it's always easy to ignore the lint and dust on the carpet when it's usually camouflage. however, i don't ignore the lint and dust because we have a nice blue vacuum cleaner for a reason. but back to my wooden floors, it's automatically noticeable when there is a piece of hair floating in an s-curve. after i see my grandma later today, that's it. i am going in full work mode. it's so hard to go out and not worry about all the drawings i have to complete, not to mention that big art history paper i have to do as well. i'm kind of sad that every break has to be this way. but i'm trying to do the right thing. surely it is going to kill my peace and sanity.

wishing thanksgiving break could be two weeks, so i could at least blow off one full day,

jane

My flight is in exactly 12 hrs. Almost done with ceramics work. Almost.

free coffee

i stood in line today for 15 minutes only to realize that i forgot or lost my debit card at home or elsewhere when i got to the register. so i stood aside, panicked a little, and then went to a single table nearby to dump everything out of my backpack. then i realized. i let juan borrow it for laundry last night and forgot to put it back in my wallet. then i finally went to the counter (after hearing "jane-soy latte" called impatiently several times), and said, "i'm just not going to take it. i lost my card. or i think i lost my card. i don't have my card. yeah. okay. sorry."  and then the barista just looked at me blankly and said, "take it. it's already made." she kind of had an ominous glare going. surprised, i took it and didn't look back. so there i had it. my free coffee today.

but then the rest of the morning was pretty discouraging. it was our last session with drawing richard today and i couldn't even get the light and shade portions of his rib correct. or any of his body for that matter. it's discouraging because all my classmates around me, even those who have been at the same pace as me all semester,  had successfully rendered richard's body in a very naturalistic, believable way, like the way it should have been done. i have one last try the monday we come back from break. and i will try my best. i have to. the underdog doesn't give up, but the underdog doesn't always rise.

i glazed four cups today. 1 more to go, and 3 more pitchers to go. it pays off working on the weekend and weekdays, or everyday i should say.

now i'm going to sip my tazo chai tea and eat my iced oatmeal cookies in peace until eight more minutes pass by. then i'm going to start transferring my tracing paper composition of the kimono patterns to bristol board.

hooray. monday is almost over. that means i get to check in around 5:00 am tomorrow for my flight home.

i'm going to make all of this work.

-jane

i really want to try making this someday. i also want the same glaze.

thumb hole mug

i spent a couple hours in the glaze studio this afternoon. i am exhausted. each cup has about five-six glazes. i just really want to experiment on the massive batch of mugs i made. i have five more cups and three more pitchers to glaze. i'm going to glaze three mugs tomorrow, and perhaps the last two mugs on tuesday afternoon. i'm going to leave the last three pitchers for the sunday i come back from thanksgiving break. i still have to make three more pots with lids. 

tonight, me and juan are going out to thai gourmet again. i feel like we've gone at least five times this month. juan's really starting to love thai food. it's about time. i'm starving. no matter how busy you are, don't forget to eat.

i am 90% done with my charcoal pomegranate drawing. after dinner, i may start the graphite version.

i realized that i didn't even start my 2d kimono painting composition. sigh, another studio project to bring home to do for thanksgiving.  

sunday afternoon inspiration

aqua turquoise blue cup

ping zhu

sculpture

art dolls

just finished watching daydream nation on netflix. god, the movie is dark and twisted. i kind of hid my eyes under the blanket several times. i'm going to download the soundtrack now. it officially hurts closing my eyes due to the brightness of the computer screen. it's my own doing. saturday night, sunday morning. being reckless safely.

Herb chickenless-o burger

Last night, after trying the new pizza place called Toppings across the street, we ended up ordering another large pizza from Papa John's two hours afterward. We're just always in for pizza. Darjeeling Limited was one of those quiet Wes Anderson films. I really enjoyed it- especially since it had India aspects in it.

This morning, me and Juan caught up with the latest episode of the Carrie Diaries and made vegan french toast with yesterday's leftover banana batter. We went to Zephyr's for lunch and I got a delicious chicken seitan and sprouts burger with onion soup-of-the-day on the side. Zephyr's will always be my favorite vegan place in Long Beach. I've been a loyal fan to it since I moved to Long Beach. I always crave for their crunchy crusted sugary apple pie. Lately, they've added blueberry pie to their dessert list, but still; nothing beats their slice of apple pie.

Right now, I'm on the bus back from Zephyr's with Juan, and we're headed back to school so I could take my bisque-fired mugs and pitchers home to wax. Then I'm going to start my third pomegranate drawing in charcoal. I have to start planning what and how I'm going to pack for my Wednesday early morning flight soon. I finally bought my orange ice tube ( art paper transportation) to bring on the plane. Stoked that my papers won't get ruined this time around. Plane smart.

I've got plenty to do before Tuesday, our last day before Thanksgiving break begins, to finish assignments and tasks here and there for all my classes.

Can I check out already?

-Jane

currently watching

Girls Season 3: Trailer (HBO)

HELL YEAH.

waited long enough.

it's raining. i love rain. take me back to seattle. i knew i belonged there the first time i set foot there.

morning cartoons

i forgot how much i loved kim possible. how i used to play those disney games day and night until i beat them. they were all mainly kim possible games. she was my idol.

currently eating my leftover vegan lasagna.

i had three red bulls this week. four if counting tomorrow.

life at home

trial and error

i'm certain that it would take me about three terms to finally get the basics on how to render the human form carefully with light and shade. while the rest of the class is finishing the second class session of the same model pose, the underdog is just beginning.

well, at least i did one thing right today.

i registered for classes and got the main ones i need.

i'm on my two hour break before art history, and this may be the only time to really take a breather, close my eyes, and be in deep meditation. last night, i spent a lot of time doing recreational watercolor painting. as nice as it was, i found myself constantly wondering if i was painting or drawing something right, if an angle should have been placed elsewhere, and if i were to share it with a class, what could be improved.

what's proven to me, is that the artist life will always be with and in me. there is no randomness in art. even the word random is a technique to be applied a certain way if you really think about it. however, there is the difference between random and experimental art. either way, i guess it's about being receptive to what is open. art is so many, too many things.

break time.

when i come home from school, i like to eat my baby carrots with my eggplant hummus with pita sea salt chips on the side.

tonight, me and juan made hot dogs. vegan and non-vegan weenies with grilled onions in the hot dog bun, broccoli, and homemade french fries on the side.

i'm just painting with watercolor tonight. for myself. i need to take a breather from the hectic academic-related art scene for just a moment. i feel like a moody teenager complaining about how no one gets how hard it is. i'm only human.

minoring in anthropology

i just might be able to do it. i mean, i've been wanting to do it for a year and a half. (when i realized i was going to put off journalism for now, was uncertain about communications, and was certain about being an art teacher). apparently i've been a quarter way through.

i finished my second pomegranate drawing this afternoon. now i have to make eraser stamps and sketch a composition related to the japanese garden for my 2d class. i figured out my classes. i'm ready to enroll for spring 2014 wednesday morning.

edit: i just spent another three hours looking, writing down, planning classes. i haven't actually started homework. was going to go out for my soy latte and moleskin write, but can't. gotta eat cocoa puffs first to function.

kairos festival in costa mesa

last night in costa mesa included a free art show, urban outfitters photobooth pictures, live music, vegan donuts, vegan quesadillas, and vegan tostadas. for dinner, we went to taco cancun, and that was where all the daiya cheese appeared. barely a year old, the place felt so homey and intimate, that it was hard to believe that they were so careful about cooking vegan food next to the other meats. they emphasized on making sour cream with daiya cheese and other ingredients as well. my tostada was delicious.

i was disappointed that the vegan baker from the gypsy den cafe (from the lab) went on vacation. that just meant no vegan chai chocolate cake, coconut, or carrot cake. nothing but an empty dark display with no glowing baked goods for sale. but at the donuttery, i did get my variety of pumpkin, chocolate, and lemon donuts before leaving costa mesa. i had a good time with my buddies adam and christian, not to mention juan, who drove.

the zip car (rental car) is definitely something to look into as a means of transportation if you reside in a place where you have to get around by feet, bus, or by train. the prices vary, so it's usually about $8.50/hour on average with gas provided. all you do is swipe the card over the top left side of the windshield and the doors unlock for you-with the keys already inside. our material life in society is getting more high class with automation and futuristic possibilities. the things we sketch and design in our minds somehow always get transferred to those bright computer screens of ours. soon the tech-savviness of physics and all that jazz leave us an abundant surplus of high-teach supplies in this ongoing era. progression; it's not uncommon at all. having a car is admittedly so much more convenient than having to catch the last train home before the station closes and it's always so much better to not combine three or four hours worth of transportation round trip before actually counting the actual event of the day. it's good to not worry about public transportation for once. yesterday was a good time. i purchased two prints from wylie and they are so amazing. i can't get enough of them. i set them as background for my lock and home screen on my iphone.

today, so far, i just finished 1/10 of my pomegranate drawings. i'm going to maybe attempt a charcoal or graphite drawing later today. after the gym, after an episode of carrie diaries, and after i digest from my late veggie burrito lunch.

saturday morning and thoughts

Drawing a pomegranate is harder than I thought. I mean, all the seeds, skin, and outer surfaces of the light and shade, etc. But yesterday I went out and bought a bunch of matching pomegranate color-related prismacolor pencils and chalk pastel pencils. I did get the ingres paper I was talking about. I shouldn't give up. This is only the beginning. I am taking the WPE test today and I am kind of worried now that I look at all the sample topics on the school website. The list is as long as the Great Wall of China. So I need to remember facts about slavery, cloning, single parent relationships, technology, etc. The norm of often given topics. Being pressured to write under a certain amount of time could get the worst out of my anxiety. Sometimes. But the good thing to look forward to after, is continuing my pomegranate drawing and then heading to Costa Mesa to go to the art show and get my vegan chai chocolate cake at The Lab. Gonna meet up with my bff, John! Thank God he went home for the weekend.

-Jane

pomegranate exploration

i'm going to attempt 1/10 of my object drawing exploration project today.. i think i'm going to choose to draw a pomegranate. just thinking about gathering and using different mediums make me giddy. i'm not sure how far i'll get with this attempt today or this weekend, but right now i just want to get ingres paper and chalk pastel pencils. so i found out that ingres paper is environmental-friendly and that makes me very satisfied. however, i have long come to a conclusion that it's just plain dfficult to be vegan-friendly with every single art supply i pick up or am required to use. personally, i am just trying my best everyday to be as healthy and ethical in every way that i can. but nothing's perfect and this world could not possibly be comprised of 100% of anything. there are specks and flaws in every single thing, whether we agree or not. that's just my personal thought though. so yeah, i'm going to use my watercolor paper or pastels even if there may be chances that they're not entirely vegan. i can only avoid so much, ya know.

Zee Avi-Concrete Wall (FrND Remix) by FrND

Zee Avi-Concrete Wall (FrND Remix) by FrND

So good.
Spread the sounds. Keep sharing.

currently listening to allman brown & liz lawrence-sons and daughters

learning about an artist named rosie walters from scotland.

prepping for my 2d presentation.

the bowls i just completed.

drowsy and sick

it's been the oh i don't know, fifth day since i've been sick. i've been taking lots of nyquil. just feeling drowsy still. i didn't know that it was daylights saving time? thanks to technology, i must admit, i found out this morning when it said 9:00 am on my ikea clock and 8:00 am on my cellphone. i love it when we get an extra hour. the day has been moving not too slowly. juan brought me a bowl of reese's puffs and he poured himself a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and we watched some aziz ansari on netflix before i fell asleep again. we did laundry, made lunch, fries, and vacuumed the carpet in my room. all clean. all better. now it's time for me to rest a bit longer and then get up to redo my value scale and paint my self portrait for my 2d class. i should post up pictures. but i've been quite lazy.

i should go to ceramics today at least for two hours. we will see.

-jane

after spending six hours in the ceramics studio, i made a total of five cups and one pitcher. so now i have to pull a couple more handles for the additional cups i made and throw two more five pound pitchers. i think i will be okay. the required number of cups we are supposed to make is eight, i believe. the underdog will rise.

i just went grocery shopping at von's. i wish i had time to go to trader joe's to grocery shop. then, i could get my soy yogurt for the week. but it's okay. i bought baked lays instead...

i should paint tonight for my 2d self-portrait project, but i am so god damn tired.

i just want to watch netflix and random youtube videos and eat soy mint chocolate chip ice cream with my boyfriend.

50/50

hi. i woke up feeling sicker this morning. you know, the runny nose, the watery eyes, the sore body, etc. but this morning i was lucky. my boyfriend stayed in bed with me and took care of me. he even got me a whole new box of reese's puffs (which by the way, are vegan.) so i got to eat my peanut buttery sweet cereal in bed. we watched half of 50/50 until we decided to set the laptop aside and take another long nap. then it was 5 pm before i knew it. we ordered papa john's and went half cheese and half no cheese (half no cheese for me), and then we got ready to go to school. tonight, the annual campus movie fest was held in the student union. i'm so glad that i got to attend tonight. it's hard making short films-especially if you're given only one week to make it. it was really entertaining overall.

now we're home again and i just ate another bowl of reese's puffs. i also made some hot green tea and that's set on my side target tv table. we're going to finish 50/50. i can't believe that 50/50 was the first movie that i watched in long beach with my friend john. it was ever so good then and ever so good now. i am a jgl fan, indeed. no lie about that.

-jane

done.

asian art history midterm round 2: done. mission accomplished. spent the whole day yesterday studying, making notecards, trying to tie artist's theories and connections. i spent the entire saturday doing my still life drawing on three pairs. i turned it in today. i didn't finish the light/shade and cross hatching until this morning at 7:45 am. i woke up around 5:00 am i believe. i'm so lucky that i have a two hour gap in between my first and second class on mondays and wednesdays. those two hours are so damn valuable for last minute cramming and memorizing identifications and ideas one last time before a midterm. exhaustion is the death of me.

right now, i'm going to go ahead and take a break. maybe i'll write a letter to one of my penpals or just simply lay down. i am also currently waiting for my trader joe's vegan pumpkin bars to finish baking in the oven. i can't believe halloween is this thursday! me and juan are going to carve our trader joe's pumpkins tonight. i think i may join in the queen mary festivity this thursday night with my roommates, boyfriend, and friends. geez, i need to find face paint soon. i'm going to be picasso. or at least i want to.

one day at a time

i want a solid one week break. they call that summer or spring break. but i seldom get proper ones. what do you mean it's only tuesday.

the serious yawns are coming in at this time of the night. let my art history notecards begin. going to attempt studying one week earlier for the midterm.

and my god, i am actually listening to the song "snake charmer" by adriana from 90210. so catchy. hmm no shame, no shame.

monday mornings

every monday morning, i rush out to the front of the gates to get to the bus stop to take the exact 8:16 am bus. every monday morning, i am always the second or third person sitting in the class while everyone shows up five minutes before the 9:00 am class. routines are hard to break. i like to be early. my mom is a 4:00 am yoga early bird. yogi. i don't know why i bother rushing, but there's something within me that tells me that i must not be late. thanks to my dad perhaps, growing up means being more and more on time (meaning at least half an hour early) to everything i do and plan.

i also quickly ran downstairs to get a new medium surface drawing pad at the art store. i even browsed this new section where they sold these "italian" colorful notebooks. when i got back, i was still the second to third person in the classroom. it had only been three minutes in the time being then again.

i had a really good weekend. i got mediterranean food with my boyfriend on friday afternoon for lunch and as usual, i ordered my favorite falafel plate. i'm really glad that he's giving the chance to try more cultural foods-to open the taste range. those batatas with lime and garlic were just delicious. i think i've ordered that appetizer at least six times in a row now. we also had a 90210 marathon that night i blogged about us watching 90210 and me eating a fudge brownie. it was really fun.

2:33 in the morning

and i'm asking my boyfriend to go to the fridge to get me a square piece of the vegan gluten free fudge brownie i made two nights ago. we're also in the middle of watching 90210 together. i can't believe i'm going back to it, but i realized that i never finished the fifth season. i changed my room layout. now my bed is facing the window directly. when i wake up, i can see plenty of green and blue sky. today, or yesterday i should say, i purchased the black mountain bag of clay. black mountain is for sure softer and more buttery to throw with on the wheel than the gritty long beach clay. i think it's possible that i didn't like going to class the first few weeks because the gritty long beach clay made all my nails chip off and my palms scratched. i was always left with an upside down frown. okay back to 90210 i get.

peace.

muscles

i feel so done with drawing the anterior, posterior, and lateral views of the skeleton.

it has been seven hours straight. i don't regret anything. but i am exhausted and i just want to cook my dinner but the kitchen is being occupied. so i must patiently wait. the good thing about being vegan is that i can control myself from going to in n out or any other fast food restaurant because there is simply nothing to my fitting. it's not being picky.

i purchased a vegan pumpkin spice cookie at the art store today because i thought i wanted it. i thought wrong. but i don't regret it. they rarely put the pumpkin spice one out. my favorite one is still the luscious lemon poppyseed cookie though.

anatomy for artists

my boyfriend has been having a hard time studying anatomy the past couple of weeks. meanwhile, i've been ignoring the anatomy terms i need to know on my own for successfully drawing the human figure. so yes, my midterm is tomorrow. i need to know the bony landmarks and the laws of figure drawing. good thing we did laundry already because that would probably be the last thing i would want to worry about. today, i successfully made two three pound bowls in ceramics. bad news- one of my firstly made five pound pots became bone-dry; so i can't trim that anymore. also, i will have to throw about two more bowls since there is also another bowl that is too small. good news-my nine convex and concave pots came out and none of them ran or stuck on the shelf. hooray for careful glazing. tonight, my boyfriend and i made a fancy italian dinner. really just spaghetti and sourdough bread with bruschetta spread on top with a side of trader joe's vegan friendly green fin red wine on the side. i started drinking wine for the first time this weekend, and i like it. my dad and i will get along with wine just fine in the days to come-once i fully turn 21. goodnight.

cheers to the end of a good weekend.

-jane

yesterday was nice. i went to dinner with my friend Brittany from ceramics. we went to get mediterrarean food at asha in downtown long beach. as usual, i ordered the falafel platter. but one exception from last night was the white rose tea from greenhouse cafe next door. so good.

now is good.

just finished a movie called now is good starring dakota fanning. she is all grown up now is more beautiful than ever.

today was a pretty good day. i glazed the last of the 3/9 pots for a couple hours and then met up with juan at the library. since then, i have been sitting here by the window- eating domino's pizza, watching a full movie, and downloading music.

i chilled like a villain today. i don't know if i should have, but i did. it was worth it.

-jane

Lucy Rose - Bikes

location right now: library

lucy rose's voice keeping me sane. there's so much love in her voice. it makes me want to make wishes off dandelions and run through tall fields of grass. i wouldn't mind the sun in this case, maybe.

i just finished my veggie pasta and chips. saving room for my homemade banana pudding. the ingredients literally consist : 1 whole banana, two tablespoons of chia seeds, and a half cup of unsweetened vanilla almond milk. after you put your three ingredients in a jar or whatever container you put it in, you leave it in the fridge for at least four hours. and then viola, you get a delicious handcrafted banana chia pudding in front of you.

this morning in my life drawing class, while sitting on the horse, somehow, my finger caught a piece of wood and now i have a splinter in between my nail and my skin. it hurts a lot and uh, i guess i don't have a tweezer to get it out so i have to listen to lucy rose to calm myself down from the pain i feel.

frozen banana treats and vegan parfaits

indulge

just another ordinary day. i still have to go back to school later to glaze my new bisque-fired pots. there's nine instead of seven this time; so i think i'll just do a few today. i just want to relax. i watched kings of summer on my two hour break today. as usual, i sat on the ground in between aisles and aisles of books on the second floor in the library. it was quite nice, actually. i figured that i just watch the movie myself since everyone is always too busy or i am too busy and we can't work around each other's times. that's how college is. i'm probably going to help my friend with his film project in a bit and then try to tackle some glazing after before going to the gym. 

always have leftovers, my friends. makes life a lot easier when you want to eat dinner early and don't want to cook all over again until later, but for tomorrow's lunch. 

lately, the world around me has been quite to itself and quiet. i miss good company as much as i like being alone. 

currently listening to 17 by youth lagoon.

-jane

sitting on the grass studying

yesterday, i'd say i had like seven slices of bread, either with hummus, tomato slices, and spinach, or with peanut butter and just peanut butter. i had about three servings of the newly bought tub of vegan neopolitan ice cream and three cups of caffeinated tea. i finished my life drawing homework after five hours. i studied throughout the night past midnight into the next day. this morning, i woke up early to study some more and then i was off to my early life drawing class. i saw jennifer's picture on instagram about how she was the only one on the vta bus. everyday, i pray that i am the only one on the bus because that way, it would make me feel less anxious about all the things in life every morning.

my asian art history test is in about one hour and a half and i am almost done with my notecards. now i'm off to memorizing the long titles, dates, artists, and regions. a squirrel is sitting next to me watching me. a butterfly just rested on top of my drawing board. that vegan chocolate tapioca pudding was so damn good. it's starting to get into an ugly habit. i spend $4 on it everyday. i should stop. but i think it's more worth it than getting starbucks most days. i can't wait to finish glazing my bisque-fired pots in the ceramics room, and then go home and clean up my mess and shower and plop on my bed like never before.

i just want chocolate tapioca pudding.

sad that i'm missing the slam poetry club audition today and possibly tomorrow. wish i had something meaningful planned ahead of time, but there is just too much going on at the moment. i hate that i always have to eat/sit on the floor in the library. all the damn chairs and tables are always taken around noon time. all i want right now is that vegan chocolate tapioca pudding in the student convenient store downstairs. the starbucks line is probably as long as the great wall of china. so i'm not going to bother. the stress is coming down and all i want to do is eat sweets. juan bought a tub of the soy neopolitan ice cream for me last night, but for some reason, i only wanted to eat a bit of it. i was craving for pudding. i'm listening to my music really loudly right now because there are no people in between the rows of books around to judge me.

The Kings Of Summer

can't wait! jennifer just sent this to me on my dropbox. this shall be saved as a real treat at the end of this week. hoping i could watch this with sara (pronounched sar-ra), my new neighbor, this thursday night. otherwise, i may go watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2 on student discount preview night at the amc on pacific coast highway by myself.

currently listening to daisy bell - dinah shore

juan just walked back to his apartment to watch another episode of breaking bad. i've never seen an episode of that show in my life, so i doubt i am going to start anytime soon. tonight, it's me and art history flashcards. i've lit my new all natural soy wax "peace" candle (from fern's garden on second street in long beach) and am now waiting for my tea kettle to whistle. i woke up this morning and went to ceramics as usual. today, out of ten of my new concave/convex pots, i only got a chance to trim two of them. none of my pots are actually dry enough to be trimmed at the moment. this makes it difficult since i am on a crammed schedule. i have my art history test this come wednesday afternoon, but i have 2d value scale assignments due tuesday and life drawing homework due wednesday morning. so here are my first world problems: not being able to get to the gym for even an hour in the next three days, cramming everything in between breaks of and after classes, etc. etc.

i just bought my roundtrip tickets to fly back to norcal for the thanksgiving break. i can't wait to hit up the city again and maybe do a solo trip on my little four days back. i'm thinking that i'll just go with tofurky for thanksgiving turkey replacements and perhaps making my own cauliflower mashed potatoes if i can. maybe then, i could also try making that long due homemade vegan pumpkin pie i've been wanting. pie....

by the way, zephyrs in long beach has the best slices of apple/cherry pie. i dream about pie and ceramics often.

my stomach kind of hurts right now because i did have a couple scoops of soy neopolitan ice cream. the sweetness... it was soy good in the moment, but now it hurts my stomach.

elements of design

: composition, space, volume, color, texture, line

art history paper night

life drawing homework

earl grey soy lattes for me and juan

chiptole for dinner

no homecook meal tonight

today i tripped on my own shoelaces.
i also forgot my brown bag lunch.
but i bought banana pudding, a low fat veggie burger burrito, and crispy potato snacks from the store before going to pottery.
in pottery, i made two somewhat tall concave cylinders.
everyday, i strive to do better than my performance from yesterday.

Sunday workday

I look at my fingernails and realize that the peacock colored American Apparel nail polish I painted two weeks ago or so are almost all chipped away- also that most of my fingernails are unevenly chipped, some creating sharper edges than others.

I hope I make progress in ceramics today. I'm planning to stay for seven hours max only.

edit: i ended up staying for eight hours, making all six convex and concave pots, carving through one old pot on accident, noticing that one pot cracked at the bottom, and spending about a good 40 minutes cleaning up my station. none of the new six pots match the eight inch criteria, but it's the experience and effort that counts i guess. or i hope. too exhausted.

now i just ate a whole bag of sea salted baked lentil chips in almost one sitting. it's the rice cooker, taking forever to steam my veggies tonight. i couldn't help it. my mind and body are both mentally and physically tired from working all weekend. where did this weekend go?

well, actually last night, i did take a couple of hours off with juan and went to the long beach second saturday downtown art walk. turned out that it was not as glorious as the downtown san jose ones, but i did find joy browsing through some of the local shops that usually close early throughout the week. i found an oval plate drawing of an owl on a branch with a deep forest green border for $2.99 at a shop called make collective. apparently it belonged to the owner's mother-in-law. now it's mine. that's exciting- inheriting someone's own work of art. i find that meaningful.

i also purchased three books from fingerprints, and a slice of vegan cherry pie from zephyrs. i don't like cherries, but their cherry pie was the perfect kind of sweetish tart taste i was craving for. yum. i shared that with juan while watching gravity falls (the disney cartoon) before going to bed.

next time i visit fingerprints, i may get a few random cds for kyle, my penpal, and maybe browse longer in the poetry and spirituality sections in their bookroom. maybe even grab a coffee from berlin next door. i miss their coffee. i haven't had good coffee in awhile. but that's probably because i have been making my homemade earl grey soy lattes and just plain green tea every night.

there is no real friday.

i usually have no classes on fridays because thursdays would be considered the last day of the school week. but even then getting out at 4:00 pm, a list as long as the great wall of china builds upon. for instance, i insist on getting home, doing laundry, swimming while the clothes are washing, letting the clothes dry while showering, making dinner after showering, eating dinner quickly, busing back to school, immediately getting back to pottery business for 5+ hours late at night until past midnight, all only to wake up early with droopy eyelids and a sore body in the morning barely feeling alive. i can see this going as a regular routine. i am the extreme underdog. don't get me wrong; i regret nothing.

but what i really want at the moment- i want it to be chilly outside already. so that way i could drink warm drinks, eat hot spaghetti, and watch cartoons with my boyfriend.

i also think i may be in serious denial of attention deficit disorder. this is real.

birthday cakes and no balloons

Last night, my roommates and I had our very first housewarming/brithday party at our new apartment. It went real wild.
Friends made appearances when they said they couldn't make it.
Met random people and cool neighbors.
A nice reunion for groups who haven't hung out with each other in awhile.
I had a few tortilla chips here and there and numerous cups of water all night.
I got to use my new fujifilm instax210 to take four polaroid pictures.
The last people slept at 3:00 am and one of those last people included me.
Now I have to go practice wheel throwing for ceramics for six hours.

vintage postcards and handwritten receipts

what i found and added to my collection today.

from niles in fremont, ca.

this one is my dream summer camp.

cool, the one and only san jose postcard i've wanted to own so far. nowadays, there aren't any interesting ones from my hometown.

i can never have enough bay area related postcards.

this one's for my boyfriend who's obsessed with the beatles.

this one is the mystery spot from santa cruz, california- a place i have yet to visit.

disney collectible cards

when i find vintage postcards in old shoeboxes and wooden trays in antique stores, this is how i often react immediately inside and outloud simultaneously:  where to start, what to look for, omg, historical landmarks, random doctor portraits, landscapes, buildings, this one's cool, this one's from 1907, vintage, so vintage, i have to get all of this, what do i do, what to do, what do you think, decisions, decisions, thanks, i'm going to buy all of these. 

i'm also a huge sucker for handwritten personal messages on the back of postcards-the kind of love that's transported and received.

i live to dive in the past, explore the forgotten, and recreate in the present.

confetti pancakes

i'm not exactly hungry, but i'd like to look at and eat confetti pancakes at this very late-night-craving-moment-i mean make it alone and eat it alone in the kitchen. the thought of seeing colorful specks in my fluffy, lightly-burnt pancakes seems more than delightful and quite entertaining if you ask me. and if they look good and taste good, then i'll share them.

hello, welcome to my new blog. i figured it may be time to hop back on the train to share some of my short/lengthy stories, buried/exposed feelings, and past/novel thoughts on the go again. blogger/blogspot and i seem to know each other quite well time after time.