last few hours

before i turn 21.

currently in the ceramics room, trying to finish an art ed paper.
i made a mini dinosaur and continued working on my sheep+ dragon= sheagon today for ceramics.
i also set up the rust dye technique in the pouring rain today. rust dyeing apparently works best in this damp weather. i see why.

rainy day activities. of course a part of me wishes to be resting in my bed, sipping my instant hazelnut coffee, snuggling in my bed with my cozy socks on, putting a cheesy flick on, and getting ready for a full day tomorrow.

but until then, your girl's working hard.

-jane

challenge

defeat
desire
dare

here we go, past 12 am again.

it's the middle of the week already. what the heck?
i just want to cuddle, read, and listen to the rain.

one after another, pacing and racing

to finish another analysis paper, but for art history and not for my art ed aesthetics class. this paper's about andy warhol and how he is known as the "perfected machine." there goes so much beyond dadaism, pop art, end of the modern art stages, and the cultural, economic, and social influences on consumerism and where works of art get treated as commodity.

blow my mind up, will ya. i wish i didn't have to attend my 4-7 class. but morley, guest speaker, street artist, is coming in today. so how the hell am i supposed to pass this opportunity up. i'm not.

seems that each day, i keep wishing that i didn't have to go to class, but i end up going. because i do want to, and it's best if i go.

the usual. the norm. 

deadlines

And the deadline is over, but I am still going to turn in the last reading analysis sometime this week. I did three six-page papers in the last 48 hours. but really, it's been longer than that. All those days of reflecting, thinking, reflecting, thinking, reflecting, etc. have really summed up my last few weeks. I have let myself down and picked myself back up as corny as it sounds. Frankly, there are little to no shortcuts in life. So I do my best.

Making progress in increments,

Jane

what are our priorities

after a long night of little to no sleep, current ongoing headache, a few cups of grapefruit juice, and a tall soy latte with an extra shot of espresso from starbucks, i can at least say that the meter on a start to finish scale has moved a little bit. i'm getting really worn out from reading about aesthetics-how it works, what it is, the way aestheticians debate about what they think it really means, what an aesthetic experience is like or should be like, or if it should not be like anything, etc. etc. etc. etc.

i skipped my 9 am ceramics class this morning to finish this reading by iseminger. i wish i didn't have to attend fiber today because i could use the time. but i think i have to turn in my flower dye sample. gotta do what we have to do, right.

i need to get ADD tested. i can't believe i have been searching up different coffee grinders on amazon subconsciously and every time i try to return to a certain sentence in a reading, my eyes wander along the pages and i lose my stance. this happens often when people talk to me or i talk to people as well. i can't help it. or maybe i can. but most of the times, i cannot. i guess we only hyperfocus on subjects that really interest us. that's the truth, right. this tests how interested we are in something or a certain topic. well, i don't know. i'm all over the place right now. but not like in a devastating way. don't get me wrong, i am in no misery at all.


-jane

to be honest

the days just keep rolling by and i never really know what day it is. i need to get a new planner. my life needs lists and order. that's just my life, amidst all the chaos. everyone functions under a different light.

i can't believe but can believe it took me the whole weekend to finally put my six pages together for my analysis paper. it was a topic on photography. got me thinking real long, real good. but that was only one out of five papers.

no one said i was sleeping just yet. just wanna drink the entire carton of the new grapefruit juice i picked up from trader joe's today.

-jane

there are days when i just want to eat chips and salsa all day and watch the show Girls. but today, i'm going to conquer those late analysis papers for my aesthetics class and go in the dye lab to dye my silk samples for fiber.

inspired

"to see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel, that is the purpose of life."

(the secret life of walter mitty)

_______________________________

the movie makes me want to make my own clementine cake and travel to the himalayas. it also gives me courage to pursue cambodia and have backup plans this summer.

aside from walter mitty tonight, i also rewatched spectacular now. i'm kind of in love with shailene woodley.

i spent the last three hours tying and folding my silk samples with buttons, washers, and beads. i'm extremely exhausted, but after putting two movies on, i'm kind of inspired to continue working. quiet films never fail to help me think throughout the night.

i really want to eat my coffee ice cream right now though.

-jane

today, i found the classic long, navy blue, polka dotted skirt that i envisioned a couple days ago.

so, this afternoon, i picked up some larger-than-normal-sized macarons from the bakery located at the end of 2nd street. next time, i'll make sure to go early and grab a cup of black coffee to go with my sweet tooth cravings. my birthday will be exactly one week from today! 

just grabbed a mango/banana/strawberry smoothie. it was supposed to have pineapple in it! i love to have pineapple in my drinks and food for some reason? 

Specialty Coffee: The Pursuit of Deliciousness

worth watching

talk about love for furniture.

quick. someone bring me $15 in cash and a car, so i can purchase that lovely lime-ish green night stand/cart/bookstand/ whatever it is outside of that store one street down. it needs to be in my room. i mean, girl, it belongs in my room.

edit: found someone with a car and managed to get the $15. bought and brought the lime green baby home!

Part of learning and training to be an art teacher or rather, art educator, is to understand how to see, observe, and analyze art with a willingness to listen, return, and appreciate. Some say that maybe the underlying question is whether something is good art or not. But I personally think that there cannot be bad art, let alone label a work as good art. Then, wouldn't that be saying that one who labels a work as good art may also label another work as bad art?  What makes a certain piece of work bad? 

Perhaps one can say that a certain work works more successfully than another, but it is not to say that the work compared to the prior piece is not good art. They are all good art. As an aspiring art teacher, these would be situations where judgments must lay outside of the boundaries. 

I think that art is personal, functional, representational, expressional, and all of the above. The vagueness that lies beneath what art could actually mean is infinite and it challenges one to believe that this is why art can be anything the individual wants it to be. But to label art as good or bad may affect the chances of overseeing the kind of art that may speak to you, in an aesthetically pleasing or non-pleasing way. Let the experience in front of you guide you towards your own observations and conclusions.

first ceramics project is drying on the shelves. i'm hoping to create a holi day-related (festival in india) installation.

second ceramics project is going to be some form of a pop-up book scene.

i think i did well on my first critique in fibers. turned in my color tiles binder, indigo-dyed shirt, scarf, cotton strip, and wool scarf.

i'm currently catching up on some late essays. also just had a few chococlate chip cookies to keep my blood sugar flowing on an adequate level. don't want to black out now.

i'm so glad i started riding my bike again lately. i can come home whenever, without worrying when the buses will come or if they will be late.

-jane

so this weekend is almost over for me. it's not over until i finish my fiber tiles binder. i did my shibori scarf tonight with beads, pins, and string. this weekend, i've been downstairs in the ceramics handbuilding room and upstairs in the fiber room back and forth. i haven't gone home in about three days, almost. if i did, it would have been to grab a slice of banana creme pie or shower. my ceramics sculpture is going well. i'm just hoping it won't crack in the kiln this wednesday. i just remember coming home around 3 am last night. today, i spent an extra 15 hours at school. i guess i've really used all the hours of the clock because it felt like a really long weekend with little or no sleep. i got a lot of work done, though. i feel extremely good. but truthfully, tired.

i'm hoping to make a visit to the clay and fabric store in la this come weekend. i need to start brainstorming what colors i'm going to use for my ceramic sculpture and find or make interesting fabric pieces to add to the project as part of the mixed media idea.

i'm going to school in three hours.

hoping this weekend i'll get a kit kat break. but if not, that's okay too.

making sure i do what i love,

jane

rhythm of love

not too shabby

this girl is getting back on track and almost on the actual track. no more feeling sick, unmotivated, tired, and uninspired. feeling alive, motivated, determined, and ready to work. i'm going to put the last three weeks behind me.

i'm so stoked for my future installation in the ceramics gallery space. hopefully it happens! i have literally less than a week to figure out what my ceramic sculpture is going to turn out like and how exactly i'm going to lay everything out-with hanging ceiling pieces and ground pieces.

i'm also pretty excited for my dyed wool and cellulose fiber sample tiles. i'm ready to work on that portfolio. the shibori scarf turned out alright. now i'm waiting for my diy shirt that was dipped in indigo to dry, so that i could dip the entire shirt in tannic acid and let the dye stay where it should stay. i'm taking that things are turning around. i spent the last weekend piecing things together. obviously the puzzle isn't complete yet, but it will be at the end of the projects. it feels real good to get started again. i take it that i have too much ambition that sometimes i need a long break to stop and figure things out.

thank you to all who have taken me at my worst in the last few weeks.

p.s. i'm beyond stoked for the new juicing days to come. i bought fresh vegetables and fruits for this week! i've got my parsley, cilantro, broccoli, kiwis, blueberries, carrots, and more! i'm going to get my green on, dude.

-jane